Affording the Rock N Roll Lifestyle

The beer cozy is extremely important in certain social circles. If you offer a beer without a cozy you are seen as improper and even worse people may think you have no respect for beer.

I've had people apologize for not being able to locate their beer cozies. I've seen people pull out knives and threaten others if their cozies are not returned. I've also seen people match their beer cozies to their outfits. This includes the sunglass I'm so extreme my sunglasses may fly from my head at any given moment and they must be caught cord.

The beer cozy is only for use with American beer. That foreign devil beer can not and will not know the glory of a beer cozy. That is the proper way. That is the American way.

My own beer cozy is actually imported. Don't tell the beer cozy police. It was shipped from Australia, a magical place where it's almost like America but more extreme. Heck most of the animals there will kill you. This beer cozy is kept in a secret compartment to be used only in the most extreme emergencies; when all other cozies are unavailable.

All hail the beer cozy.